can't pin me down

pay attention to: king of pentacles

there are a lot of different ways to read court cards, but i follow lindsay mack in the idea that tarot cards are never someone else. how could they be? this is a tool for you, and ultimately, they're always going to point back to what you have the most access to - you, and your world. court cards (pages, knights, queens, kings) are showing us different ways to be and move in the world - they're the masters of their suit, they are the experts in working with the energy (air, water, fire, earth).

which is a long way of saying, when i draw the king of pentacles for a place to put my attention, i'm being asked to put that attention on myself, and how i'm stepping into my own power and leadership over my own life.

have you ever seen something, maybe a stack of dishes, or maybe a collection of books, and thought, i know exactly who that is. sometimes, we are in the presence of someone who is wholly, and completely, themselves at that moment. they're doing what no one else can, because it is so tied to who they are.

a big redwood tree, standing tall for centuries.

a dolphin, blowing bubble rings for no other reason than it is pure joy to swim through them.

a volcano, in a cycle of activity and rest that generates new land and stunning vistas and answers to no other timeline than its own.

i think when we think about self-sovreignty, and doing what we're meant to do on this earth, it's easy to reduce it to jobs, professions, careers, wealth. and there's some truth in that - if you're doing something that only you can do, that's a pretty good foundation for a business. but more than that, it's a pretty good foundation for a life that will fulfill you, and serve others well. work is part of life. so are relationships, and environment, and community, and our inner worlds. it's all a tapestry, and to me, the king of pentacles energy is about paying attention to your tapestry. weaving all the threads together until there is no mistaking that this is yours. the work of building a life that isn't an imitation, it isn't what someone else envisioned and we executed, it comes from that deep place, the spark that is ours alone.

when this card comes up for me, i can't help but to think of that mary oliver poem, the summer day:

Who made the world?

Who made the swan, and the black bear?

Who made the grasshopper?

This grasshopper, I mean--

the one who has flung herself out of the grass,

the one who is eating sugar out of my hand,

who is moving her jaws back and forth instead of up and down --

who is gazing around with her enormous and complicated eyes.

Now she lifts her pale forearms and thoroughly washes her face.

Now she snaps her wings open, and floats away.

I don't know exactly what a prayer is.

I do know how to pay attention, how to fall down

into the grass, how to kneel in the grass,

how to be idle and blessed, how to stroll through the fields

which is what I have been doing all day.

Tell me, what else should I have done?

Doesn't everything die at last, and too soon?

Tell me, what is it you plan to do

With your one wild and precious life?

and that is the question that i will try to keep on my heart this month, and use as a point of focus: what do i plan to do with my one wild and precious life?

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now, i would love to never spend a minute of my wild and precious time on unloading the dishwasher, or balancing business accounts, or putting away laundry (folding it is fine, usually). but those are all steps that support my life as i build it. i feel more comfortable in a clean kitchen, i have to know what my business is doing to take care of it, i have to put away laundry so i have things to wear (and so that my neat husband doesn't lose his mind). but i can also be aware of all the places where i'm trying to live someone else's life - and check in to make sure that when i make decisions, build things, create things, sell things, say things, as far as is possible - they come from me. i want things to come from my experience, my gifts, my perspective, my knowledge, my love, my truth more often, and i want to be less worried about following this 10 step proven plan for profits, or what other people think i would be good at, or what would make people more comfortable.

wild, precious caretaking of the life i have.

This month, Iā€™m writing every day as part of the Tarot for the Underworld challenge, hosted by Lindsay Mack of Tarot for the Wild Soul and Amy Kuretsky of Breathwork for Business Babes. See more on Instagram!