can't pin me down

card for the month: eight of wands

eight of wands, as represented in the smith-waite centennial deck

eight of wands, as represented in the smith-waite centennial deck

That feeling when you take you first deep breath in your seat on the airplane, knowing that you're on your way and all you have to do is look out and enjoy the clouds.

When you're diving off the high dive, having worked up the bravery to do it all summer, and feel the wind on your damp skin for just a second as the water rushes closer. A moment that should pass by too quickly to even register, but time is funny that way.

Ordering a book the moment it's announced, and then patiently waiting through a work day, watching the package get closer and closer to your house. You know that a new world is waiting for you once your paths merge, but the feeling of waiting for it is delicious, too.

This month is about movement - it's about having set up goals, worked hard to get yourself in alignment, gone through the mess and the challenge and the struggle of building something and now, it is almost here. You might not know what it is, but it's coming. The card asks: can you allow yourself to be in flight?

The lessons in this card are always a little sticky for me. I am used to the grind, the waking up early, the list making, the planning, the doing it all by brute force and sheer will. So there's something pretty scary to me about saying "the work is at a stopping point, and now your job is to keep your eyes open for the ride." What horrible advice! How uncomfortable to be on a plane and have to sit there and relax and trust that the plane will stay aloft! Doesn't everyone know that is your constant cheering, encouragement, and vigiliance that keeps the plane in the air? Of course I can't fall asleep, what if someone or something needs me during this four (eight, ten, twelve...) hour flight?

Honestly, I would be more help in an emergency if I hadn't willed myself awake with coffee and anxiety. It isn't safe to twist around too much when you're midflight in a dive, and you should probably keep your eyes closed, too. Once the arrow is out of the bow, you have to let it fly.

When I draw for something like "card of the month", I don't actually put too much stock in the idea that this card is showing what will be coming for me, or as a future predictor. I don't necessarily believe that a new job is winging its way to me, or that some reward or benefit is on the horizon. I think about it in the frame of this question:

What does this energy have to teach me, in a daily and monthly framework?

And the message that is coming through for me is, this month, and every day, do what you can to stay out of your own way. Trust that even though you are moving fast, you are doing so because this is the season for it. Try to let things build of their own accord. Give seeds a chance to grow without uncovering them from the earth to see how things are going down there. Let yourself feel the air rushing past you without worrying if you're flying too fast, or in the right direction, or in a way that will maximize your aerodynamics.

This month, I want to relax on the metaphorical plane. I want to enjoy the idea that things are in motion and that my hard work lead up to them, and my work will be needed again once we land, but for now, we breathe and enjoy the view from here.

Practically speaking, I want to support this by being really mindful of my creative process. Can I create without needing to edit, judge, critique right away? Can I trust that the tools that have always supported me will continue to support me? Can I trust that things are working out as they need to? I want to really lean in to the structures that have done me well in the past - regular exercise, journalling, time outside, meditation, structured project planning - and prioritize the energy I need to make them happen. I commit to giving myself the support I need to feel centered so that even if things are moving quickly, I still have a sense of who I am, what I need, and where I want to go. Movement as medicine.

This month, Iā€™m writing every day as part of the Tarot for the Underworld challenge, hosted by Lindsay Mack of Tarot for the Wild Soul and Amy Kuretsky of Breathwork for Business Babes. See more on Instagram!